Ranger Up is proud to announce our partnership with The Duffel Blog, the best fake military news on the planet and the only guys bold enough to militarize the Onion.
Before all you Mustachioed Mega-Men get upset, we want to make our mustache policy clear. Ranger Up loves a good mustache. A mustache will make you a goddam sexual Tyrannosaur!
However, if you want to be able to deflect bullets with a glance, you're gonna need to get yourself a combat beard.
Bottom Line: Don't bring a mustache to a Beard Fight.