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Hipsters, college kids, and douchebags run around in Che Guevara shirts like the man was some kind of big-thinking hero. The truth is that he did have talents. To claim otherwise is folly – he was sharp, very charismatic, and politically adept. He shared these traits with our own President Washington. The difference is what he did with those traits. Here’s a short list:
a) Stamped out the majority of the Cuban leadership which favored democratic ideals in favor of hardline Marxism.
b) Founded death squads in Cuba and personally ordered the killings of 550 political prisoners without trial.
c) Created forced labor camps for political dissidents, people with mental disabilities, AIDS, and gays.
d) Routinely raided the homes of potential
dissidents, planted evidence and then arrested them to throw them into said camps.
e) When he had properly contributed to really screwing up Cuba, he decided to go do the same thing in Bolivia. The people there weren’t having it, sold him out, and the Bolivian government killed him.
That’s a real hero right there. How come when Stalin, Hitler, and Hussein did this stuff we vilified them, but when this clown does the same thing he’s an icon of independent thought? What would these same people wearing his shirts think if I started rolling in a Hitler t-shirt? I bet we’d high-five right?
Here’s the answer: The people wearing these shirts either have no idea who this guy is or they have some serious issues that require some 5.56 therapy.
Enter Washington: A wealthy land owner who put his estate on the brink of financial ruin, and almost assured his death by accepting the Generalship of the United States Continental Army for the chance for a people to find true liberty for the first time ever.
What did he do?
1) He turned down payment for his Generalship, even though he needed the money.
2) He led every battle from the front, often having horses shot out from underneath him.
3) He eliminated the idea that officers must come from nobility and promoted from the ranks.
4) He treated prisoners of war with respect, even while the British did not return the same treatment.
5) He refused to allow his men to steal from the countryside, even as AMERICAN farmers were not sharing their food and his men starved.
6) When the war ended, he refused the Presidency, but Hamilton, Adams and Jefferson were being such political asshats that he lost confidence they could manage without screwing up everything he worked to achieve. So he ran.
7) Unanimously elected President.
9) Then he resigned, explaining that power corrupts and no man should hold the office too long and that we should eliminate political parties, because they will ultimately become two giant corrupt liberty-draining succubi.
There is no way to explain in such a short expanse how much America owes to this man. But his strength of character, refusal to quit when victory seemed impossible, and foresight into the future of America have never been matched. He carved our country out of nothing with sheer force of will and he did it because it was the right thing to do.
And he didn’t wear a wussy beret.
That is a Real Revolutionary.