Remember that oath you took when you first signed up? You vowed to uphold the Constitution of the United States of America. Sounds like a no-brainer – these are the basic tenets of egalitarian democracy. Free speech, free religion…what could possibly be the downside? In your calculations, you probably never considered that you might be protecting the right of people to PROTEST YOUR MILITARY FUNERAL. That’s why this week Ranger Up salutes the esteemed members of the Westboro Baptist Church, who have been picketing military funerals for about a year now. Armed with signs that bear such heartfelt messages as “God hates the U.S.A.”, “Thank God for IEDs”, and “God killed your son”, these wastes of space gather outside military funerals and shout insults at the mourners in an attempt to disrupt the services. Their rationale (if it may be dignified as such) goes something like this: 1) God hates homosexuals (reference their “classy” site http://www.godhatesfags.com/), 2) the US tolerates homosexuality, 3) God punishes the US by killing its soldiers, ergo 4) these soldiers deserved to die and thus do not deserve a respectful military funeral. In short, "Military funerals are pagan orgies of idolatrous blasphemy where they pray to the dunghill gods of Sodom and play taps to a fallen fool.” Clearly. Whether these people have the intellectual capacity to understand that they are protesting the funerals of the very men and women who fought and died to protect their right to do exactly that remains unknown. We do hope, however, that the irony’s not lost on them. Some other fun Westboro Baptist Church facts: - WBC members wrote letters to Saddam Hussein praising his regime, and traveled to Baghdad in February 2003 to protest the impending US invasion. - WBC members traveled to West Virginia on 15 January 2006, waving signs that read “Thank God for dead miners” to protest the memorial service for the victims of the Sago Mine Disaster. - They hate America (http://www.godhatesamerica.com/). -They hate…uh…Sweden (http://www.godhatessweden.com/). You know what else God hates? When corn gets stuck in his teeth (http://www.godhatescornstuckinhisteeth.com) It takes a whole lot of work to make Scientologists look smart, but you assholes have done it. Welcome to Douchebagistan. Click the Douchebagistan Link to meet more Douches! |
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